Wins, challenges, and a new journey

It's been three weeks since we came back to Canada. Wow, time flies. I must say that I'm very happy to be back on my routine. Meeting some friends and talking about my trip to Japan gives me a new perspective as well.

Here I'm going to go through my wins and challenges of my 35 days in Japan.


WINS

• We had a blast. I took my kids out to more places than ever. They got spoiled by their grandmother and aunt. Some of the highlights were Tokyo Sky Tree, Tokyo Disneyland, Oedo Onsen, and a trip to Nagano. We had a great time catching up with some of our old friends. Good times.
• My youngest learned a bit of Japanese.
• I went to see my dad a lot, and was able to reconnect with him. I probably chatted with him more than my 38 years with him put all together. It was great to get to know him. It made me realize the importance of communication. Having conversation with others is vital in our lives. Why would we learn how to speak a language and communicate with others if we didn't have to use it?
• I had my dad move a little bit. It was all passive on his end, and I did most of the work, but both he and I saw a tiny bit of improvement and that was a huge win.
• I moved things along a little bit in terms of where and how to care my dad. Keeping him in the hospital where he is now was never my option, and I'm happy that we will be moving him to a new place where he has a chance to be more active.
• I got a little bit of load off of my mom's shoulders once we decided to move my dad to a different place. Just the prospect of her not having to attend my dad 24/7 was a great relief.
• I had a chance to talk to my mom and sister about what they think about the situation and what their positions are. This will give me a better idea on what needs to be taken into account when we talk about the next step. Especially, it was great to see how my sister is taking on this whole thing.
• I got to visit 2 CrossFit gyms in Tokyo and made great friends there. I love the feeling of the community wherever I go. Each box has its own unique characters but you are part of the big family no matter where you are from. CrossFit rocks.
• I'm even more strongly convinced that Life By Design IS the answer to the optimal health and living. Whenever I ate off track, I felt sick. Whenever I felt less focused, I was able to spot why. I felt awesome every time I went training. Making choices was rather easy even though I was challenged with some big issues in the family. 
• We got our spine checked by Dr. Sachio once. Once is better than none.

CHALLENGES

• My oldest wanted to spend more time with his friends. In the last coupe of years I sent the two boys to the local elementary school for a few weeks, but this year I didn't. Maybe next year I will consider signing them up for school again.
• I was unable to stay on track in terms of Eating. I failed to plan.
• I was unable to involve my family in Living By Design. I did not pick up many opportunities to even talk about it.
• I could not see my dad stand on his both feet while I was there.
• I did not record my video blogs as often as I wanted.
• I wanted to reach out to some other chiropractors in Tokyo, but I didn't.

Now I have a clearer vision as to bringing Life By Design to Japan. I'm looking forward to spending each and every day toward my vision and purpose.

In the meantime, I will keep in touch with my family and stay connected.

This wraps up my 30 Day Challenge this summer. For those who checked my blog regularly and sent me encouragement, I really appreciate your support. Thank you very much.

Day 33 & 34

Day 33 & 34 : Keep moving

Day 33

I made an appointment with a counsellor at the home for 2:00pm on Monday. Mom and I along with my boys went on yet another train ride to Zushi. Believe it or not, this was the first and last time my boys got to go out with their grandma this time, and it actually was the only time she went out of the house during our stay. Just getting her out was an accomplishment in itself. 

When I was little, we used to go to the Zushi area all the time, so we were all familiar with the place. My mom seemed very happy to feel the breeze from the sea. She grew up near the sea, so it was a smell of her hometown.

The home was located just over 5 min cab ride from the station. We got there a bit too early but our counsellor greeted us and we started to talk about the facility and other details.

Then we got to see all the floors in the building. The bedrooms, dining room, recreation area, rehabilitation area, baths etc. They have a clinic in the same building, which has quite a lot of beds for in-patients as well.

All in all, I really liked the facility. I thought it'd be a great change for both my dad and mom.

There is still one thing that we as a family need to agree on before they can proceed, and that is about the emergency treatment when the resident of the home is found in a critical condition. As soon as that clears, my dad could be moved to the new place as early as at the end of August. I was pretty excited about the idea of moving my dad to this new place and start getting him moving more. Sadly, I will not see that happen in person. I just hope that the rest of the process will go smoothly.

After the talk with the counsellor, we took a cab and headed to a beach in Kamakura. I really wanted to take my boys to see the real sea, and it was a perfect opportunity that I just could not miss. It was a windy day and the waves were pretty high, but we put our bathing suits on and jumped in water. It was awesome to see my boys knocked over by the force of the water, taste the real sea water, get covered in the beach sand, and feel the sticky salty breeze. We stayed on the beach for only a couple of hours, but I'm sure that the boys enjoyed the time there.

Then we walked to the Kamakura station, and stopped at a very fancy restaurant for dinner. We enjoyed "shabu-shabu". Feeling very full and tired, we headed back home.

Day 34

It was our last full day in Tokyo. I was busy packing our suitcases. I needed to ship them out to the airport so I didn't have to bring them all on the train. Just one of the many perks of living in Japan.

Then I took my boys out to see my dad for one last time. My youngest was all sad because he got to see his grandpa only twice this time. I felt bad. He is right. I should have taken the boys along more often.

Dad was waiting for us. As soon as he saw us, he started to get up, so he could get on a wheelchair. With some help of a nurse, he sat on a wheelchair and we went to the lounge to chat.

I told him about the home, and some other things. My boys didn't have much to say.

After a short while in the lounge, Dad wanted to go back to his bed to lay down. I called the nurse again for help. Once he was back on bed, I started to do the usual exercise. We did only a little bit. Then we said goodbye to him. I encouraged him to work on his strength. He smiled and said "Yes."

This concludes my 5 weeks in Japan.

In my next post, I will go through my wins and challenges.

Day 31 & 32

Day 31 & 32 : Wrapping up my CrossFit journey in Tokyo

Day 31: CrossFit Chikara

I missed my regular Wednesday training because we went to Nagano, and I wasn't sure if I could squeeze another session at Chikara next week before we leave for Canada, so I decided to go on Saturday.

Apparently it's very busy there on Saturdays. They have 4 classes and they were pretty much all full.

We did max effort box jump. I missed my attempt for 35 inches and scraped my left shin. Oops. I think I can jump high but I'm not fast enough to bring my feet up.

Then we did 7 rounds of 7 pull-ups, 7 box jumps, and 7 DB ground to overhead. I was paired up with a woman from California. I got to rest while my partner was doing her rounds, so it wasn't too bad. I got to meet some new people who either just moved to Tokyo or just dropped in. I definitely have to bring my husband along next time.

I took some pictures with the group and Coach Shingo. Awesome.

Then I went to see my dad. On Friday I asked him if I could bring my kids to the hospital before we left for Canada, and he thought I would be bringing them on Saturday. He looked a bit disappointed when I showed up just by myself. Apparently he was telling the nurses that his grandsons were coming and was excited about getting on a wheelchair and chatting with them in the lounge. He was so disappointed that he didn't want to sit up on bed for me. Oh well.

Day 32 : Reebok CrossFit Musashino

Today was Sunday and I went to train at Musashino. It was my first time training for two days in a row. Wahoo! When I contacted Coach Miki last night, he was like "We were wondering where you were!!" because I didn't show up yesterday. It was kinda cool to see that I was already a staple there on weekends.

Today's menu was more focused on mobility. Then the WOD was 3 rounds of 15 power cleans and 20 DB clean & thrusters. I was paired up with Anna. She was very strong and did her cleans unbroken.

I stayed for a bit after training and chatted with Coach Miki. He said that it was nice to have some "experienced" crossfitter in class. I felt very flattered.

I also took some pictures with them.

I sure am going to miss them a lot.

Then I had a quick late lunch, spent some time in a coffee shop, and headed to see my dad.

He's been eating well for the last few days. He didn't complain about the hip pain today while exercising. He also told me that the nurse pointed out that he had some urination today. According to him, it was his first time for a long time. I'm not sure if I should be excited about it, but I guess seeing any kind of normal physiological response is a good sign.

Today I told him one important thing. I told him that it would be a process before he could actually come home. It depends on how much he can improve after rehabilitation, and also depends on how ready his family members will be, especially my mother. I told him that she is not only injured but also very emotionally hurt. She needs time to recover and be ready to have him home again. He didn't say anything.

He didn't want to sit up today, so I just had him on his side and massaged along his spine. I asked him to be ready to sit in a wheelchair when I bring my boys to him on Tuesday. 

Tomorrow, my mom and I will go and check out the home we are hoping to move my dad to. We are taking the boys along, so we've decided to make it a big day trip. If everything goes well, we might be able to hit the beach on our way back. 

Day 28-30

Day 28-30 : Meeting old friends

On Wednesday, me and my three boys headed for Nagano to see my old friends.

We left home around 9:30 am. From Tokyo station, we took the Asama bullet train. We bought bento at the station, and enjoyed our lunch on the train.

Our first stop was Karuizawa, where one of my high school / university friends live with her family. They just had a baby girl in May and I really wanted to see her and their awesome cottage house.

We got picked up at Karuizawa station, and drove through a forest and there was this beautiful house right in the middle of woods. I admire their decision to move from the big city to this quiet peaceful place full of nature. They have a fireplace and her husband and their son cut down trees from their property and make their own logs. Must have been a big change for everyone, but they seemed to really love it.

We spent a few hours there. The boys had fun playing with their son, and I had a great time chatting with my good old friend. The baby girl was adorable. Oh how soft a baby girl felt...

Then we spent some time in the outlet mall by the station and I spoiled my boys with new shoes and t-shirts from Nike and Adidas. We also enjoyed their famous soft cream. Good times.

After that we got back on the bullet train and headed to Nagano. There, our all time family favourite woman was waiting for us. She drove us all the way to Nakano, where my husband taught English at junior high schools for three years. She made us an awesome dinner, and we got to hang out with her family. Her son was home for holidays, and my boys loved playing with him.

The next day, we decided to visit the famous monkey park, where the wild snow monkeys live near the hot spring. You can see them have a bath in the hot spring. We parked the car and walked through the woods for some 20 minutes. We got to see some cute baby monkeys too. 

Then we had late lunch at a noodle restaurant nearby. We enjoyed their buckwheat noodles. After lunch, we stopped by a local hot spring for a quick dip in a hot tub, then headed back to our friend's place. After a short break there, we said goodbye to her family, and she drove us back to Nagano station. We wanted to drop by the famous Zenkoji temple but unfortunately a big thunderstorm hit us on our way, so we just went right to the station to catch yet another bullet train back to Tokyo.

She is such an awesome woman. It was great that I got to talk a bit about Life By Design with her and her husband.

We had a great time in Nagano. I'm so glad that I made this trip this time with my children. Next time will be with my husband for sure. In terms of eating, it was not By Design, but we sure had fun and lots of walking in the nature. I even carried my youngest on my back and walked up the long stairs ;)

Today was a bit of a slow day for us all, but we had great news. The social worker at my dad's hospital worked very hard for us while we were enjoying our trip. She put all the papers together and sent them to the nursing home and she asked me to contact the home already. I called the home to arrange the interview for Monday. Things are moving forward, and I'm happy that I can be a part of the big process before I leave for Canada.

I went to see my dad in the afternoon. He was his usual self, saying he was tired and all that stuff. But as soon as I started our regular routine exercise, I noticed that he felt stronger today. He was able to lift his hip much higher and more by himself. He started to roll over on bed so he could sit up before I asked him to. He was able to sit for a longer time. Wow. I feel pumped. How could I not get excited!! I'm certain that as soon as he starts receiving more systematic rehabilitation program, he will see a big improvement. I just need to figure out the way to keep him motivated.

Tomorrow I'm going to Chikara CrossFit. I think this is going to be the last workout at Chikara. On Sunday I will go to Musashino and that will conclude my CrossFit journey in Tokyo.

Day 23-27

Day 23-27: Decision making days

I was off blogging but I sure was busy making decisions for my dad with my mom and sister.

On Friday after the potluck with my neighbour families, I went to see my dad. He seemed well, and he told me that he had lunch sitting up in a wheel chair and he ate more than half of it. Then he went on about how he could raise his hip a bit when a nurse asked him to. I took that opportunity to explain how much his body could still adapt to even a small exercise he'd been doing with me. With proper programming and constant work, he'd see a remarkable change. And I said, "That is what rehabilitation is all about." To that, his response was, "I did not know that. I thought rehabilitation was bullying. But I think you're right. It makes sense."

I felt motivated. I felt very encouraged. We need to keep communicating with him.

On that night, I decided to just have a talk. Originally I wanted to have a chat with my sister first to see what she'd got to say, but I did not want to wait any longer.

The talk with my mom and my sister got a little emotional at times. Yes, I'd seen how hard it had been dealing with my dad's conditions. But the last three years I was away from home, things got a bit chaotic. I understand all the emotions and feelings that my mom and my sister have toward my dad. I do not blame them for feeling that way. It's just that I have changed my beliefs and I've become a new person. 

We came to the decision to move my dad to a "home (I don't know what it should be called in English)" that provides with a rehabilitation program. The best option I could think of to keep my dad under better care while keeping my mom's sanity.

A lot of things that were discussed that night really put me into deep thoughts. The purpose of life, sacrificing yourself for something that has no value to yourself, or the fact that you can't change someone's mind but you can never assume that that person will never change. Hearing "It is too late." is something I can never accept.

I believe that every human being is designed to be extraordinary. Sick or healthy, young or old. It's never too late.

I also do know that the change must come from within. I cannot change anyone's mind. I can only speak what I believe.

At least now we have a direction. I've already get the process started with the social worker at the hospital. It will be a long process and it's going to take up to 12 months before we can actually move my dad to a new place. It will be a challenge to keep communicating with my dad, keep him motivated and encouraged, and making sure that he gets the minimum amount of daily movement. At the same time, my family all need to recover and regain the strength and start living the life they deserve. For the rest of my stay here in Japan, it is my duty to speak about the importance of it all.

So that was the big part of my missing days.

The rest of it went like this.

Day 23

Potluck at my neighbour's. My meatball was NOT a hit among the kids. LOL. My middle son devoured the entire bowl of edamame. I found it interesting that one of the moms asked me about my training and what my body fat percentage was. She also compared my arm to a professional tennis player. I could not help but noticing the distance between her and myself.

Day 24

CrossFit training at Reebok CrossFit Musashino. Coach Miki destroyed us all, although he joined the team and did most of the weighted walking lunge. My quads are still sore.

Day 25

There was a huge thunderstorm in the afternoon, and I missed my window to visit my dad, but it cleared up by the evening, so I took the kids to a traditional dance festival called "Bon-odori" at the local elementary school. My older two boys found their old friends there and we all had a great time. 

Day 26

I went to talk to the social worker at the hospital, and then saw my dad in the morning. Then we went out with the neighbour families for pizza lunch and bowling fun. It's becoming our annual event.

Day 27

My youngest and I went to pick up his new Japanese passport. Then I went to see my dad. He was getting anxious about moving to a new place, but I told him that it'd be a long while. After dinner, we had a huge firework fun with our neighbour families.

Tomorrow my kids and I are heading to Nagano to see some of my old friends. I'm excited that the kids get to go on a bullet train.

Day 22

Day 22 : More spoiling!!

Today I took my boys to the Oedo Onsen hot spring. This is the favourite place of my boys, and it's been an annual visit on our summer vacation. It is a natural hot spring in the middle of Tokyo, where they have all these different hot tubs and the summer festival-like atmosphere from good old days. Visitors wear yukata in the building, which has a food court, an arcade, and all the traditional Japanese games.
My sister had a business meeting in the morning, but was able to join us from lunch time. All my boys got absolutely spoiled (again) and enjoyed their non By Design but taste so good food.

Tomorrow I'm going to a potluck lunch with my neighbour friends who have the same aged children. I'm bringing my slow cooked chilli meatballs.

Day 21

Day 21 : Pancake bomb

I should really go get checked soon...

Today I woke up, made breakfast, and did some things around the house, then noticed that my middle son had some tummy issue. I suspected that his body was reacting to all the crap he ate yesterday. I reminded myself that I needed to really get back on track.

But I failed to plan accordingly. So I ended up failing. When I got back home from training and the usual hospital visit, there was an iMessage from my oldest that I never received. He said that the middle one was unusually upset and aggressive, and that his thought was it was something to do with the pancake that their grandma made for lunch.

The middle one continued to have some tummy issues for the rest of the day, and even the other ones were a bit gassy.

I thought I made it clear not to feed my kids any wheat. I thought my mom accepted it. But I failed to make sure that my kids would be fed well.

I never explained in the way that my middle son is especially sensitive to the wheat. I did not make it sound like it was a problem specific to him. It might have been easier if I had said more like he is really sensitive and that is why we all avoid certain foods. But it's just simply not true.

Again I need to revise my strategies...

The cool part of this story is that my oldest actually made connection between the pancake and his brother's unusual mood. I mean, how many 13 year olds would every say that?

All this happened while I was busy training and meeting my dad. I went to CrossFit Chikara. I got to do some snatch, and back squat, so I was very pleased. I was very confused with the weight in metric, and felt kinda sad because all the numbers get smaller. LOL. I just used the 15 kg bar for snatch. After the session, Coach Shingo said, "Shoko-san, you are strong!!" It made my day. Coach Otoya, although I was not aware that he was watching the training, said that my hip joint is tight and my knees get pushed past my toes. I'll keep that in mind and work on my hip mobility.

I went back to my home station, had some green curry for late lunch, and then headed to the hospital.

My dad seemed like he was in a better mood today. He said he was on a wheel chair for a while. When I asked him if he went around the hallway, he said no, because he didn't feel like it. He didn't want to sit up with me either. He needed to be motivated.

I told him that I believe his body still has the ability to get better, and for his body to get better, he must give his body what it needs. But unless he wants to get better, unless he decides to change, no one can make him better. It's his own body that is going to heal itself.

At first, he rejected. He said there's not much he can do about it. But I said the same thing one more time, he raised his feet and moved them by himself.

Unlike his statement, I see so many things that need to be done. At this moment, any movement is a plus for him, but if he wants to see any results, he needs to have a program, a strategy, a good coach, family to support and encourage him, consistent work and time. It's not going to be easy, though he doesn't seem to think so. Haha.

Still a lot to be figured out here. I really need to make time to talk with my family.

Tomorrow I will take my boys out to the Oedo Onsen hot spring. Should be fun.

Day 20

Day 20 : Spoiling my boys

Today was the day that I decided to spend with my boys.
In the morning, my oldest kindly woke me up just in time so I could take my youngest to the big photo shoot. We were able to make it to the photo studio for the 10:00 am appointment.

My youngest was very very sleepy and had a bit of puffy eyes, but once he was dressed in the traditional Japanese kimono and had his hair done, he was pretty excited. The photographer was awesome and we got some cute pictures taken. I was glad that we did this today because the photos would be ready for pick-up on the 18th, which is 3 days before our departure.

Then I met up with my other two boys. I asked them to walk to meet us at the station. We had a quick McDonald's lunch, and then headed to Shinjuku for a movie.

The boys all enjoyed the rangers and the masked rider movies. Lots of explosions and lots of (cheap) CG.

After that, I left my oldest in the theatre because he wanted to catch another show. He got interested in this TV drama and this was a sequel movie. For the last few days, he'd been watching the TV series online and was pretty excited that I was letting him see the movie by himself. Of course the other two boys got jealous, but I managed the situation by spoiling them with some toys from the store.

I took the younger two boys to the passport centre. I had everything ready so it wasn't so bad. Then we took the subway back. When we came out of the station, it was pouring outside. We spent some time at the station. I was a bit worried about my oldest but I decided to just take a cab home with the two boys.

Shortly after we got home, the oldest walked home as well. The rain had stopped, so he didn't get wet. He enjoyed his little adventure.

The best part of the day was when I said I hadn't seen any "real" movies lately, my oldest said "You should go and see some movies." He's growing into a caring and independent teenager. So proud.

It was not a By Design day, but we sure had fun.

Tomorrow I'm planning to go to Chikara CrossFit for group training. Then I'll go see my dad.

Day 19

Day 19 : An angry old man

In the afternoon today, I went out with just the youngest. He needed a photo for his new Japanese passport. I really enjoy this kind of one on one moment with my children. They are super cute and I can be the best mom ever to each of them. I spoiled him with a little Starbucks treat and he absolutely enjoyed it. We got his photo done, did some groceries and went home.

Then I headed to see my dad. It was later than I hoped it to be, but I thought I'd still show up. He was not having a good day at all. He was just full of complaint today. He told me that he had his lunch on a wheel chair today. I took it as a very positive story, but that was not how he saw it. I understand that it was a bit of a jump from eating in bed to eating sitting up and strapped on a wheel chair. He said it was totally against his will and nobody helped him there. He went on complaining that they took his spoon and now he had no spoon to eat with, and that no one hadn't come to help him clear his phlegm. I took care of the last two by simply asking the staff. I watched the whole procedure of him getting his phlegm sucked. It was very painful to watch.
I tried to explain why the nurses would do all those things for him. Why they'd put him on a wheel chair. How nice it'd be to sit at a table and eat dinner with everyone else. But he just got upset and started almost yelling, saying that he never liked to be told what to do, and that he'd rather eat in bed. I've seen him get upset like this for countless times, and usually he gets left alone. I decided not to say much anymore. I thought he needed to be heard, even though everything that came out his mouth today was all negative.
Dinner was served and he started to eat. So I thought I'd leave, but today he told me not to leave because the staff would start being mean to him as soon as I left. So I just sat there, and watched him eat. I helped him brush his teeth, and then I left. During the meal, I said to him that it was pretty impressive that he could eat with his left hand when he was right-handed. That was one positive thing I could say to him today. When I said something about changing his thoughts to a more positive direction, he said he couldn't. I felt a bit sad. Then reminded myself that it was a process.
I realize that he is becoming dependent on me. I feel the danger there. The last thing I want is for me to become his enabler.

On my way home, I came to this idea that human relationship is also adaptation. People who share the same values are By Design for you, and they give you little to no stress and you can benefit from them. When you meet those who do not share the same values, you will have to start adapting. This is where the Doorman Principle comes in handy, because if you let yourself adapt to everyone around you, you will lose your mind. If you hold your core values high, you can actually see others better, keep the distance and build a better relationship with them.

A small win for me today, if anything, was that I did not let his anger put me down.

Tomorrow is going to be a jam packed day. In the morning I'm taking my youngest for a formal photo shoot for the Japanese traditional ceremony. Then I'm meeting up with the other boys and going to see another movie. After that we will go to the passport centre for my youngest's passport renewal. I told my dad that I wouldn't come to see him.

Day 18

Day 18 : Girl power!!

I slept in again today but felt much better. Had breakfast, put things together, made lunch for the kids, and headed out for training at Reebok CrossFit Musashino.

Today's WOD was 4 rounds of 5 Squat Cleans, 24 KB swings, 2 Handstands. We had 8 min time cap + additional rounds with 1:30 time cap each. Coach Miki said he wanted us to feel the fast pace of CrossFit. Anna and I had barbells, and the guys used dumbbells and kettlebells. I hadn't done the clean movement since my shoulder injury, so I was petty excited that I finally got to do it. I finished my first 4 rounds well under the time cap, and I was able to complete one extra round plus 14 KB swings. Then we went outside for the second WOD. It was 100 m sprint EMOM for 10 min. Coach Miki laughed at the fact the girls used heavier weights than the guys today. Girl power!!

Then I headed to Kichijijo, had a quick lunch, then went to see my dad. He looked much better today, but he started with "I was waiting for you. There are a few things I want you to do for me." It was basically just about moving things around so he could reach them.

He talked about the nurse that he didn't like and how she "bullied" him every day. He is like my 5 year old son, in the sense that whenever someone tells him not to do something, he doesn't actually hear what is being told. He only hears "Don't" and he gets upset. I just told him to think about the other nice nurses instead.

He also told me that one of his friends visited him today. He brought some Japanese sweets, and it was so sweet that it made my dad really thirsty. He said he'd like some yogurt instead. I'd rather give him some bone broth jello.

I did our routine exercise and at the end for the first time, my dad said "Let me sit up." Way to go!! It was a huge win. I told him I was very happy, gave him thumbs up and high fives. It was a great moment.

Yes, my dad gets trapped in negative thoughts. He has a tendency to choose the easy way and have others take care of everything. But I still believe that if we communicate in a proper way with positive feedback and support, he would start seeing the world differently.

After the hospital visit, I did some groceries and went home. My mom was having a nap. She got up once but I told her that I'd make dinner, so she went back to bed. I made my go-to meat sauce over cabbage, and my younger two boys were not very happy with it. Hmm...

Tomorrow I will start working on some little jobs here and there that need to be done.

Day 17

Day 17 : Focus on living it

Holy smokes it's Day 17. My stay here in Japan is for 35 days, so it's already at halfway point. Wow.

I've been feeling terribly tired and not really focused. Last night I couldn't really sleep either. Then I realized that it was because I wasn't really living my Life By Design to its full potential.

So I decided to refocus myself and make the next 2 weeks plan more in detail. My challenge for the next week is to have the meals planned and make them myself.

Today I took the boys out for shopping. They got some new DS games and the oldest got a new pair of shoes (he keeps growing...). Then I did some groceries and bought some steak meat and veggies. I quickly dropped off the grocery and headed to see my dad.

He was still suffering from a fever but he looked better today. He already finished dinner.

I told him some funny stories of my boys, and he laughed a little, then he started to cough. He got lots of phlegm and couldn't really clear it out by himself, and he ended up choking. His immune system was suppressed. It was kind of a scary moment.

He mentioned the possibility of moving to a different hospital like his friend had suggested, and said "But I think it's hard to make that happen because I've been under care at this hospital for so long." I said "It's possible. You just need to choose. It'll be hard for YOU, because it's YOU who is going to go through all the change."

I told him to have some happy thoughts. He said, "No, I can't. I keep thinking about my disease." There, Life By Design Step 1. Focus on what's strong, not what's wrong.

Then I asked him why he thought he ended up here. His answer was "It's all because of your mother." Yes, it was THAT direct. Shocking. No wonder why my mom has been so upset and angry. Again, I explained how much my mom had to do while my dad was home. Life By Design Step 2. No one is coming to save you.

Lastly I asked him one more question, "What do you think you need to do so that you can go home and live with the family again?" He said "Exercise." All right then. Once he gets better, he'll be doing more exercise for sure. 

Funny story today. My middle son asked me to get Pantene shampoo. I asked him why and he said, "Because water could damage your hair too!" "Oh, is that what they say on the commercial?" "Yes."

Later on, I told him that instead of trying to protect your hair from water using shampoo, it's better to grow healthy hair that can adapt to the water. He looked a little upset.

I thought this was a perfect example of everything being backwards. 

Tomorrow I'm going to Reebok CrossFit Musashino for a WOD session. 

Day 16

Day 16 : Need new strategies

I could not sleep well last night. Neither did my youngest. He kept waking up early morning, had a nose bleed, complained that he couldn't find his pillow etc. etc. My back started to hurt from sleeping on futon on the floor.

I spent my day just cleaning the house. In the evening my boys and I went to see the dentist, Dr. Saito. The oldest and youngest was in good condition. I knew that the middle one had a big cavity that needed to be treated, so he got that filled. He was supposed to have another one but the doctor said it wasn't serious. I got my teeth checked and lo and behold, I had a cavity too. At the very back on one of my wisdom teeth. I got that filled, but maybe those top ones need to be pulled out one of these days.

From there I went to see my dad. He was sleeping again, but he woke up as soon as I sat on the chair. He told me that he went around the hallway on a wheelchair. He had a bath. And for lunch he had stew that he was able to eat. But he still had a fever.
I moved his ankles and massaged his feet and he fell back to sleep again. He seemed very much drained. Dinner came shortly after but he didn't want to eat anything.
All I could say to him today was "You'll be all right."

I want to get him under chiropractic care. I want him to Eat By Design. I want him to Move By Design. I want him to trust his body. I want him to start living, not running away from death.

How do I do that? I need new strategies.

This morning I asked my sister if she could spare me some time to chat. Unfortunately she needed to work from home and she wouldn't have time till next week. I'm going to write her what I want to talk about so she has time to think about it.

There's a few other things that my boys are hoping to do while we're in Japan. It's time to go over our plans and make sure we hit all the notes.

Day 15

Day 15 : Charging

I was exhausted. All day. I spent most of the day in bed and on the couch sleeping. It's probably from lack of sleep and lack of fat in my diet.

I went to see my dad in the evening. When I got there he was asleep. I sat beside the bed and he woke up. He still had a fever, but he told me that he had curry for lunch and that he enjoyed it. He also told me that he was put on a wheel chair today and he went around the hallway.

I didn't really have much to say today. I just moved his ankles and legs, and gave him massage. That was enough to make him start breathing heavy. Fever sucks.

I just said that his body was fighting something and that was why he had a fever. His body was doing exactly what it was supposed to do. Even that kind of little statement seemed to have some impact on him.

I kept my visit very short today.

On my way home, I had this weird thought that maybe I had brought some germs that caused him a fever. How could I boost up his immune system? I think I can make every bite he takes meaningful with Eat By Design.

I haven't talked with my sister yet. Tomorrow I'll make an appointment with her. Also I'm taking my boys to our dentist tomorrow.

Day 14

Day 14 : Showing gratitude is the way to go

Last night I Facetimed my husband and chatted with him for a long time. I ended up going to bed very late so I totally slept in this morning.

I fed my kids late breakfast and then asked my mom to look after them. I headed out to Chikara CrossFit for group training.

Today was a MetCon day. We did warm-up and started the WOD.

It was 20 min. AMRAP in team of 2

  400 m run

  3 wall walks

  AMRAP wall balls

So one person runs 400 m while the other does 3 wall walks and wall balls until the running athletes comes back, then take turns. I was teamed up with Olcay, a woman from New York. It was my first time doing wall balls since my shoulder injury, so we picked 8 LB ball.

It was a pretty brutal WOD. When the 20 min was up, I collapsed. I thought I was going to puke. Coach Shingo was like "Wasn't it awesome? You should come to this kinda day more often!!" Sorry but I'm more into strength training. Oh well.

I stayed after the training for a while just bonding with other athletes. It was also cool to see that everyone mopped the floor where they sweated and wiped the equipment they used. Must be a Japanese thing.

They are doing a 6 week in-gym tournament. I was invited to join this weeks WOD. I talked about our winter classic. What an awesome event that was!!

Coach Otoya asked me if I would come tomorrow again. Also he asked me if I could come in the evening because that's when he coaches. Very tempting. But right now my legs are very very tight and sore. And I'd rather be home for dinner with my kids. Hmm...

Today was the day when I really felt the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded people.

I got a gift for my awesome husband today. I'm sure he'll appreciate this.

I left the gym and headed back to my home station. I was wiped out. I spent some time at a coffee shop, collecting myself. Then I decided to stop by a book store. I thought I should get a guide book for Hakone for my dad. There I found this gem.

A Japanese translation for Wheat Belly. WOW. I haven't read the original book yet, and I know it's not everything you need to know, but I figured this might be a good start for my family here.

Then I hurried to the hospital to see my dad. He had a fever today and didn't have much appetite.

He told me that one of his friends from high school visited him this morning. Mr. A suggested him that my dad should get his back looked at at a different hospital where there is orthopaedic and dialysis treatment as well. Personally to me, what my dad needs is NOT another medical treatment but a decision that he would work toward health. So here's what I said. "I understand you are in pain and you want to get rid of it. But going to a different hospital will not solve the problem. No drugs, no surgery will magically remove the pain. You have to decide to get better and give what the body needs. People can help you but you have to do the work." I promised him that I'd talk about it with my mom and other family members.

He told me that he had a needle today. I asked him if it was for the fever, and he didn't know. Again, I told him that he need to be more interested in what goes into his body and why he's getting it.

I gave him the guide book that I bought. I'm not sure if he'll ever read it, but it really doesn't matter.

Today's big question from me was this.

"Why do you think that I come to see you so often?"

He said it was because I wanted him to get better.

I said "Yes, that's true. But it's not just that. The biggest reason is that I want to thank you. I wouldn't be who I am now without you. And also I believe that you can get better. I want you to think the same way. I want you to believe that you can get better."

I also added that I'd rather have him at home than at the hospital. It'd be so much better if he was home when I came home. 

I worked on his ankles and legs, but I decided not to add resistance today. He had a fever and it was draining him a lot.

His dinner came so I left.

I think this is how I'm going to approach him for a while. Without him, I wouldn't have existed. And I am thankful that he brought me to this world. 

Day 12 & 13

Day 12 & 13 : Full of FUN

My boys, my sister and I went to Tokyo Disneyland. I had decided to fill these two day with just pure fun and make it a totally memorable experience for all of us. My sister worked for Disneyland for over 15 years and I used to work there part-time. Although there were many change in their system, two of us could make a great team in coordinating this little tour.

We made reservation for a lunch show at a restaurant, and we planned to make a reservation for dinner as soon as we got there. We had asked the kids which rides they wanted to go to, and based on the popularity, we had some idea on which ones we should try to get Fast Pass for and which ones we should just wait in line. I decided to let my boys eat whatever they wanted. It's all about choice.

The weather was not the nicest. It rained almost the whole day, and the park was yet full of people. My sister bought each of us a rain poncho but wearing it made us sweat inside, so we would have gotten wet either way.

We played so hard. My oldest had the goal to hit all three "mountains" (roller-coaster rides) and we sure did. My youngest was tall enough for all the rides so he was super excited. The younger two loved roller-coasters, much like their dad. We enjoyed all the other rides, the kids loved all the food they had there, from the waffles to the sherbet, to the popcorn, to the churro. Food was nothing By Design, though. The Kingdom of Dream and Magic is built on wheat and sugar. We stayed in the park from 9:00 am to 10:00 pm. Totally exhausted, we headed to the hotel. We had a quick bath, and we were out like a light.

Next morning we all slept in, had a brunch, and played in the hotel pool. Spent an hour or so there, played more at the arcade and the kids playground. We left the hotel around 4:00 pm, were able to avoid the rush hour on the train. Dinner today was KFC. Tomorrow we will be back on track.

Tomorrow I will probably go to Chikara CrossFit for training, and go see my dad.

Day 11

Day 11: Handsome boys and sweaty WOD

This morning I took the boys out to a hair salon and got them all trimmed. My middle son wanted to dye his hair purple. Maybe when we get back to Canada, I will let him. He's such a punk.

I sent the boys home from there, told them to ask my mom to make them lunch. I said they could have whatever she could make, and they were all very happy.

I hurried my way to Reebok CrossFit Musashino. I was late, and they were mostly done the mobility.

Today's WOD was 5 rounds for time of 15 DB clean & thrusters, 5 Deadlifts, and 10 pushups. Finally got to touch a barbell. One time I dropped the barbell at the end of my reps, and Coach reminded me not to do it. Being able to just drop the barbell is luxury to have at my gym.

I felt good after the workout. Today I met Anna, a girl from Australia, who started CrossFit back in February and got totally hooked. She basically took a year off of work, and she's travelling around the world visiting different affiliates everywhere. She was actually at the potluck yesterday at Chikara. I'm sure I'll bump into her again.

I love their routine that everyone takes a cloth and a spray and wash the floor and all the equipment after every session. Great way to keep the gym clean and have some bonding time with each other.

Then I went to Starbucks for some me time. From there, I called my sister if she could come out for a coffee but she needed to take care of some stuff at home, so I was unable to have a chat with her today.

I headed to the hospital to see my dad. "I thought you were not coming today." was what he said. He had the dates a bit mixed up.

I started our usual routine exercise. I noticed that he wasn't willing to do it. He didn't mind me moving his joints, but I couldn't get his attention very well. Need some strategies to motivate him.

His ankles were getting swollen too. I don't know the exact cause or mechanism of edema, but the fact that he's in bed all day and edema is showing in the ankles, it must have a lot to do with lack of mobility and muscle mass.

He told me that today he was put on a wheel chair and he went around the hallway all by himself. He said he doesn't get to do it very often. Some nurses would tell him to do it, others don't.

I had him sit up on the bed again. He complained some pain in the hip joint. He also told me how my mom would push him harder whenever he complained pain. 

I'm facing a challenge here. As long as he stays passive, the change will not happen. I will continue to motivate him and tell him that he, too, is designed to be extraordinary.

Tomorrow my boys and I, along with my sister, will go to Disneyland. It's one of the biggest events in this trip. We will start our day early so I must get well rested.

Day 10

Day 10 : Awesome people at CrossFit

I stayed up last night making a video blog and for some reason I could not sleep much last night.

This morning I was planning to go to Chikara CrossFit for group training but I did not have enough time to put all my ducks in order so I cancelled my reservation. We did go to Chikara for the potluck event in the afternoon.

I just loved the atmosphere there. Very international, high in energy, lots of good food, nice conversations. Coach Otoya trained with Kelly Starrett at San Francisco CrossFit, which made me totally jealous. He shared some of his vision about bringing CrossFit to Japan. Coach Moe, who ranked the 7th in the Asia Regional, seemed to have a very high potential and she's aiming to make it to the Games. She is interested in Kids CrossFit, which I think is an awesome idea. Coach Shingo was such a fun guy, engaging everyone into conversation. It was just pure awesome being there. I absolutely highly recommend this place if anyone is looking for a CrossFit affiliate in Tokyo. Coach Otoya asked me if I'd come for training every day while I was in Japan. Maybe not every day but definitely a few more times. My boys enjoyed the time there too. My youngest was all cute and social, and now he is hoping to visit there again.

We headed back to our home station, and I sent my boys home ahead. I went to see my dad from there.

I didn't see him yesterday, and I felt that I actually missed him. Not like I felt bad not showing up, but I actually really missed him.

I got there and my dad greeted me with "You didn't come yesterday." I felt good about it. He is expecting me to come. He is looking forward to seeing me.

We just did the usual chat and exercise.

Today I asked him two questions.

One was whether he wanted to see my mom. He said he did, but he also said that it really upset him that she hadn't shown up. I asked him why he thought that my mom wouldn't come to visit. His answer was "It's because her back still hurts." I said "Yes, that's one reason, but can you think of any other reasons?" He didn't have any idea. He was like "There must be some other reasons, but I can't think of anything I've done that would stop her from coming." He doesn't know how much my mom has to do when he is home, and how little her hard work is appreciated.

The other question was whether he wanted to stand on his feet and walk around on his own again. He said, "Yes, but not right now." I said, "Then when?" There was a pause, and I continued "You will not get ready to stand back up just laying in bed. You have to make a choice and decide to stand up on your feet, and start working toward it. Yes, it will be hard. It will be tiring. But as you go, your body will start adapting. At first it may be only 30 seconds. But gradually the 30 seconds will become a minute. Then a few minutes. It gets longer as you keep working on it." He just smiled a little, and didn't say anything.

I forgot to take a picture again.

Tomorrow I will probably go out for a coffee with my sister. I really want to see what she is thinking. I'm planning to go to Reebok CrossFit Musashino as well.

Day 9

Day 9 : Movie, walk, and "spine up"

I spent my morning at the ward office taking care of some paper work. Now we are officially residents in Tokyo. But it took longer than I expected so I could not go to see my dad at the hospital today as I had planned to.

We had sushi for lunch, and then headed out to a movie theatre. My middle son wasn't feeling 100% yet but well enough to go out. The boys enjoyed the movie. We bought advance tickets to an upcoming Masked Rider movie as well.

We spent some time walking around the Shinjuku area and then we headed to see Dr Sachio at Café of Life Tokyo to get checked. We went there last summer. We got out of the station from a different exit and we totally got lost. Thank goodness I had Dr's number on my cell phone. We got there and my youngest just jumped on the table. It's so awesome that my kids don't even question about it. We all got checked and got much needed adjustment. Power's on! I gave Dr. Sachio a Life By Design Approved t-shirt that my husband bought specially for me from Ottawa, and a Life By Design radio CD. I also mentioned Life Con. I asked him if the number of chiropractors is increasing in Japan. His answer was yes the number is going up but the quality is going down. Mainly because they do not have philosophy, and their goal standards are so low. Somebody please bring some principled chiropracTORs to Japan!!

We took a long way home. My middle son is still processing and had a nose bleed in the middle of the train ride. It was a tiring day for sure. At least we all have our power turned on.

We came home and had a nice pork chop dinner. Yum. Thanks Mom.

Tomorrow, I'm going to take all my boys to CrossFit Chikara. I'm joining a group class, and then they will have a Paleo potluck, watching the CrossFit Games. Awesome.

Day 8

Day 8 : Looking back and looking forward.

I still had a sore throat and so did my middle son. His fever was down but he wasn't ready for a movie. He said that he'd like to enjoy the popcorn at the theatre so he wanted to have his throat better for the occasion. Funny kid.

I took the boys out to Kichijoji again. They enjoyed "gacha-gacha" at Yodobashi Camera. We had snack at Starbucks. I had an iced Americano with heavy cream. I had to ask for heavy cream in a strange fashion. "The whipping cream that's not whipped."

Since I was already in Kichijoji where my dad's hospital is located, I asked my oldest to take the younger ones home. I like giving them this kind of little adventures here and there.

My dad looked well. He had dialysis this morning, and then he got his system cleaned out. That should have made him feel much better.

I could tell that he had more strength today. He was able to lift his hip much more easily today. I felt confident that I could sit him up today, so I went on and sat him up. It was sooo much easier today. I was getting used to doing this, but it wasn't only that. He looked more stable too. Very very encouraging. I told him it's important to do elevate his head more often so his heart can pump up the blood. I tried to move his spine and there still was one spot that made him yelp. One joint on his upper spine is causing pain. I can't wait to have him checked by a chiropractor in the future. As much as I know how important it is to restore the brain-body connection, this has to wait.

He told me that there was one more food item that he'd like to have if he got to go to Hakone. Unfortunately he couldn't remember what it was. I was happy that he kept thinking about it.

Also he pointed to the nurse who helped him with the enema procedure. After talking about how awesome those nurses are, he did say that he'd like to be able to go to the bathroom by himself.

Any "wants" that come from within, I celebrate.

I had a chance to talk to the care coordinator again. I just asked her what options are available. A lot to think about for sure.

My goal now is to have all my family members on the same page, and work toward the same goal. I will start a chat with my sister first once she gets back from her business trip.

It's been a week here, and I'm proud of myself how much I can focus on the positives, and I can just ignore any negative talk from my dad. 

Tomorrow if the kids are feeling better, I will take them to the movie.

Also, I contacted Dr. Sachio at Cafe of Life Tokyo. I might squeeze in an appointment tomorrow evening.

Day 7

Day 7 : Celebrating a small win

Today my boys and I had a plan to go to a movie in the morning, but when I woke up my middle son, he complained that he had a sore throat. His voice was rough too. I checked his temp and he had a fever, so we postponed our movie date.

I was still pretty tired. Maybe I'm still caught in the tail end of the jet lag. I too had a sore throat, so I took my morning very easy.

As I was getting ready to go out for training, my mom, looking at me in a tank top, asked me this. "So both you and your husband are looking jacked now?" I said "Yep. Pretty much." She said "Where is my youngest daughter heading to?"

I knew this was coming. I thought I was prepared. But it took me a while to actually put my thoughts together. All I could say was "I'm not trying to look jacked. I'm simply doing what my body requires. Strength training is necessary for you. I just ended up looking this way." She didn't say anything.

Then I headed out to Chikara CrossFit. The very first CrossFit affiliate in Tokyo. It was located in the heart of Tokyo, very close to the parliament and the prime minister's official residence. It was a bit hard to find the place, but I made it in time for the 2:00pm class.

I was greeted by Coach Otoya and Coach Shingo. This place had everything you need. Nice showers, vanity area, turf, kitchen... everything.

Today's class was run by Coach Shingo, who made it to the Asia regional. The class was pretty big for a weekday afternoon with 11 athletes. We did warm-up, mobility work, and today's WOD was accessary workout. 4 rounds of 8-10 split squats, 1 min rest, 8-12 Trap 3, 1 min rest, 30-45 sec side plank, 1 min rest. Coach Shingo was like "You should have come on a day with harder WOD. Today it's a bit boring. But it's important to do this once a week." I didn't mind it at all, and I'm sure I'd come for a different menu before I leave for Canada. Both Shingo and Otoya spent many years in San Francisco learning CrossFit, and they run their class mostly in English.

I enjoyed the hour there, promised that I'd come by again, and left. This weekend they will watch the CrossFit Games at the gym, so I'm planning on joining them along with my boys.

I hopped back on subway train and headed back to my home station. I stopped at the coffee shop and had a bite to eat. I chose curry there. Then I went to see my dad.

He sounded a little weak today. He asked me to pull out something from the drawer for him. He said he ate all his lunch, but he wasn't feeling very well.

I started the exercise. I told him to push my hand back but he didn't have much control today. He complained that he was feeling a little dizzy, and he couldn't flex at all. He was breathing a bit heavily as well. I continued to work on his legs. But eventually he looked a bit out of breath, so I just had him take deep breaths.

He told me that today he was put on a wheel chair and spent some time in the meeting room. I came to understand that he spent some time sitting up today so his blood pressure was affected. That's probably why he was feeling dizzy. I decided not to sit him up today.

He told me that he could move around on the wheel chair, and the nurse was surprised to see him move around. Then she would tell him to work harder. "They all make me work harder. Your mom too. Always harder, more." I asked him why they'd say that to him. He was like "I have no idea. Maybe because they are mean." I said, "No. It's not because they are mean. It's because they believe that you can do more." But I know that "more" has to come from within. Right now hearing "more" and "harder" only gives him unnecessary pressure, and he rejects it all.

I asked him again what he'd do if he was free from all the conditions. He was like "I told you already. I want to go to Hakone." He talked about all the train rides and places to see, even the food he'd like to eat as well. Maybe I'll go find a book on Hakone and bring it to him soon.

Then he said something absolutely remarkable. 

"Now that you come and help me move, I can lift my hip a little bit. I couldn't do this at all."

He grabbed the railings and lifted his hip just a little bit. Being able to shift his own body in bed is a huge deal. And he actually associated the exercise he's been doing with me and the change in his ability. "That's awesome. You can do something you couldn't do before. See, your body will respond. Your body can get better."

He was still breathing heavy and looked tired, so I left the hospital.

I cried all the way home.

From now on, I gotta make sure that he knows it's his own hard work that will make a difference. Not mine.

No photo today.

I don't have anything planned tomorrow. Depending on how my middle son is feeling, we will do something for fun.